Sunday, December 5, 2010

Are you Jamaican? Cause Jamaican me think...

While Mo freezes his poor skinny (close to the desert born) butt off breaking into peoples cars and houses, Ive started making a game out of speculating about how people came to call us in the first place.

Most people are easy. Car keys locked in car, in a driveway during a cold day...done while warming up the car. Keys locked in car while in a bar parking lot... bouncer didnt want to deal with them so they called us (sometimes these people really shouldnt be driving but bouncers dont get paid to think, they get paid to get people out). Family locked out of home at 2am...back from seeing Grandma who probably switched her teeth with your house keys (no wonder security gave you a look while screening that bag). Single guy locked out of apartment at 4am... lost them after telling a horrible barrage of lies to a stripper in CA.

Last night a woman called us out to an obviously very expensive duplex around 11pm for a house lockout. When we got there we not only saw the very expensive duplex with the very expensive high security lock, we also got to see the new BMW, the Ipad and laptop in the BMW, the very nice high class dinner look (on a Wed night), and were asked to change the door lock to a new very expensive lock waiting inside the house right after we broke through the old lock. Oh, AND she insisted there wasnt another door we could try even though there was a back door and a garage door with a key code pad on the outside.

So while Mo froze his butt off trying to crack the lock my mind buzzed with scenarios that could possibly put our Jamaican damsel in distress out in the cold in a ridiculously short dress and high heals without her garage or front door passcode hidden somewhere in that surplus of electronics she had with her.

The house had to belong to someone else. Why? Well, because any self sustaining woman would have a record of all codes somewhere, be it Ipad or personal secretary that at one time was a real feeling human to someone.

After an hour Mo got back into the car and started calling another guy to come out and help with the lock. While we waited I asked him for his opinion. He looked at the house and said "powers been turned off."
I said, "AH ha! [Input theatrical gesture] A good theory BUT there is one light that is obviously burnt out by the garage because on the other side its the matching light is ON. AND there is a law that power companies cant shut off your heat. You've seen the BMW and what shes wearing when its this freaking cold outside!" (At this point Mo gets into it and offers up his observations about the Ipad an Laptop in the car with her) "I think shes in the beginning of what will probably be a very sticky divorce. She got home after seeing someone only to find all the codes have changed so she cant get in the front door or the garage. She only has the locks because she was going to try and change them first and she wont let you touch the back door because that would just add fuel to the fire in the divorce later."

Mo blinked at me for a second then said, "Really?!"

I said, "I dont know, Im not psychic. Im just bored and read too many mystery novels."

After that he called back the guy who was going to help him. A lot of yelling in Hebrew went back a forth and apparently after Mo telling another guy my story the other guy yelled "Didnt you check her ID to make sure the address matched?!" Cause she could be a scorned lover (good thinking Guy-who-works-with-Mo-who-I-havent-made-a-name-for-yet).

In the end they broke in through the back door ignoring the womans request for them not to. They replaced the (probably only 24 hour) old lock on the front door to the one she had waiting inside and took her money. I never did get any more details...

I had fallen asleep in the car waiting (it was 2am by the time they were done), I was groggy, and all Mo wanted to talk about was how freaking cold he was.

Follow up: The next day Mo did have a cold and he took full advantage of me babying him. I also made an awesome home made chili (I will give that recipe out). I'll get him back in a couple of days when my period starts.

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