At my retail job "shiny" has become an allergy among customers and the ingredient "fragrance" WILL kill you (which makes it perfectly obvious why the customer made a huge deal out of choosing something without a scent and bought the coconut scented gift set)!
Our little locksmith business doesnt seem to catch a break from the nut jobs either.
Last week a woman called in asking how much it would be to rekey six locks on a house and break into a lock on a bedroom door. I gave her an estimate and told her the tech will give her the actual before he does anything.
When the tech got there the womans husband said we only needed to change one lock and when he didnt like the price he started challenging our tech to get into locked doors. Our tech obviously said, "Umm no..." took the cost we charge of sending someone out ($15) and left the crazy man.
Crazy man called us after screaming about how he shouldnt have to pay $15 because we are shady and probably arent even a real business. I told him to do whatever he had to do but the $15 is the consultation charge and thats that. It took half a day for the man to stop calling and screaming at whoever picked up the phone.
Today we had the Queen of all crazies. I say Queen with a capital "Q" because all other mentally deranged people kiss her feet as she walks by.
We sent out a tech to open a locked car. The woman that called wasnt home. Her husband was home with the car but she was making the calls.
5 minutes after the tech opened the car the woman called screaming that we cheated her out of $90.
Mo had picked up the phone because I was getting ready for work. She claimed I had told her it would be $40 exactly and she wanted the tech to turn around and give back the check or she was going to the Better Business Burrow. She started screaming that she wanted Mo's name, and heard me say "Im pretty certain we dont need to give out full names." She told Mo to put me on the phone.... which was a huge mistake. While crazy people can ignore what Mo says because his accent is thick, I can very clearly bust someones bubble.
Me: "How can I assist you today?"
Her: *long pause followed by her screaming about how I had quoted her $40*
Me: "I was the one you talked to and I did not say it was a solid $40"
Her: "Well if you dont send that tech back and give me my check I'll make it much more expensive for your company!!"
Me: "Look, let me explain the situation, you can go ahead and go to the better business burrow if you want..."
Her: "Im not going there! Im going to call Hupy and Aberham (lawyers that advertise on tv) and sue you!!
Me: "Thats fine too, but you dont have a case. We had your husband sign a form showing EXACTLY what the prices would be BEFORE we did anything. We do this with all our customers to insure that no one even thinks we are being "sneaky". If you didnt want to pay our prices for the services all your husband had to do was tell him to go away and not sign the form. No one forced you to go with our company."
Her: "Well.... well... YOU GOT US ON A TECHNICALITY! But you have to live with the fact that your cheating people out of their money!"
Me: "Im ok with that."
While I was getting ready for work she called back 2 more times to tell us that we could either return the check or "pay a lot more than what we made".
The last call we got from her was THE BEST! Mo just pointed it out to me as he saw me writing this and I cant help but post it word for word, because google voice is awesome...(There is a lot about how the tech was late and he gave a discount but it was still to expensive before hand...thats not the fun part... THIS is)